i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
