you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
