it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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