why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
