is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
