it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
