i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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