Where did you get a picture of my penis
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize