Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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