My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
