So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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