This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
