hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize