This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
