I wanna passion pit in your ass
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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