Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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