one two three fourrrrnication!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
