you guys were way drunker than both of me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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