Im at strip club and am horny
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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