420 ftw
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
