I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i believe in u and ur pee
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