And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
