Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
