how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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