Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
