why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
