every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.