Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am not joking.

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  (503): I just pulled a feather out of my vagina. (503): I am not joking. http://tfl.nu/l5ol
  Replies (30) Good night (1333) Bad night (3909)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money

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  (570): I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money http://tfl.nu/ayme
  Replies (40) Good night (4126) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

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  (267): i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal http://tfl.nu/wd7r
  Replies (18) Good night (1238) Bad night (3895) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee

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  (516): Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee http://tfl.nu/xpqv
  Replies (16) Good night (3108) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.

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  (503): She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party. http://tfl.nu/vfln
  Replies (46) Good night (648) Bad night (7000) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.

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  (919): I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes. http://tfl.nu/2m3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4167) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation

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  (303): Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation http://tfl.nu/s4ly
  Replies (15) Good night (1125) Bad night (3255) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.

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  (203): Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot. http://tfl.nu/4t9j
  Replies (2) Good night (1943) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration

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  (513): I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration http://tfl.nu/y2rq
  Replies (20) Good night (1615) Bad night (2444) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future

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  (908): Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future http://tfl.nu/p1r4
  Replies (5) Good night (2033) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles

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  (847): I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles http://tfl.nu/eek8
  Replies (9) Good night (1515) Bad night (458)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.

  (1-985): View more from Louisiana

  Do I have a choice?

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.

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  (985): Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response. (1-985): Do I have a choice? (985): I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again. http://tfl.nu/kt0k
  Replies (13) Good night (2679) Bad night (472)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.

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  (815): I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win. http://tfl.nu/e10p
  Replies (45) Good night (1653) Bad night (2903) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision

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  (401): I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision http://tfl.nu/c6qu
  Replies (0) Good night (743) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.

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  (229): Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone. http://tfl.nu/eg8m
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt

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