end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.