Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um

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(415): Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um http://tfl.nu/bp62

Replies (8) Good night (628) Bad night (1585)
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(303): View more from Colorado

and next time when you feel me up, do it right

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(303): and next time when you feel me up, do it right http://tfl.nu/7fkv

Replies (21) Good night (750) Bad night (3770)
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(209): View more from California

do you want me to make hamburgers?

(541): View more from Oregon

i'm vegan

(209): View more from California

i'll put lettuce on them

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(209): do you want me to make hamburgers? (541): i'm vegan (209): i'll put lettuce on them http://tfl.nu/hb72

Replies (37) Good night (7691) Bad night (1072)
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(650): View more from California

I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

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(650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4

Replies (31) Good night (6250) Bad night (2108)
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(904): View more from Florida

Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job

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(904): Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job http://tfl.nu/2lgs

Replies (43) Good night (1013) Bad night (5344)
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(303): View more from Colorado

theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away

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(303): theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away http://tfl.nu/plhs

Replies (8) Good night (666) Bad night (2172)
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(801): View more from Utah

He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid

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(801): He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/81ik

Replies (15) Good night (2152) Bad night (920)
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(512): View more from Texas

Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!

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(512): Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?! http://tfl.nu/k4mm

Replies (17) Good night (804) Bad night (3551)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples

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(541): Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples http://tfl.nu/ex1b

Replies (7) Good night (1009) Bad night (574)
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(831): View more from California

After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"

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(831): After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!" http://tfl.nu/os8d

Replies (4) Good night (2747) Bad night (619)
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(365): View more from

James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.

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(365): James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/tgs7

Replies (9) Good night (2065) Bad night (673)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.

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(706): I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose. http://tfl.nu/d385

Replies (6) Good night (579) Bad night (777)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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(757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8

Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (372)
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(850): View more from Florida

Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

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(850): Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore. http://tfl.nu/g2ed

Replies (2) Good night (336) Bad night (602)
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(571): View more from Virginia

My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.

(703): View more from Virginia

Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.

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(571): My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous. (703): Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill. http://tfl.nu/6yt0

Replies (0) Good night (623) Bad night (331)

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