Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  No. Take one for the team.

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  (314): He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed? (1-314): No. Take one for the team. http://tfl.nu/7euo
  Replies (19) Good night (1194) Bad night (4017)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.

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  (609): the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/krsx
  Replies (39) Good night (791) Bad night (5314)
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  (949): View more from California

  We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations

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  (949): We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations http://tfl.nu/lsw6
  Replies (6) Good night (5580) Bad night (987)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point

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  (515): the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point http://tfl.nu/syrq
  Replies (10) Good night (6342) Bad night (885)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.

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  (309): I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking. http://tfl.nu/amrn
  Replies (5) Good night (4786) Bad night (930)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

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  (989): I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made. http://tfl.nu/gowl
  Replies (6) Good night (3719) Bad night (896)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.

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  (269): No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success. http://tfl.nu/5coq
  Replies (5) Good night (1603) Bad night (827)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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  (937): Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower? http://tfl.nu/53j7
  Replies (4) Good night (1564) Bad night (492)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.

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  (360): Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof. http://tfl.nu/kt4t
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (1847)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true

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  (409): It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true http://tfl.nu/wq1h
  Replies (9) Good night (919) Bad night (1373)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.

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  (713): Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/j76u
  Replies (1) Good night (933) Bad night (408)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".

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  (720): when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight". http://tfl.nu/l9jb
  Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Steaks?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Ash Wednesday.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?

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  (267): Steaks? (215): It's Ash Wednesday. (267): If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made? http://tfl.nu/8kzi
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (322)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me

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  (828): This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me http://tfl.nu/34nr
  Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary

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  (973): Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary http://tfl.nu/fd32
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (229)

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