you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
