I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
