I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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