Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
