I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
