one two three fourrrrnication!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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