I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
