and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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