Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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