you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
