You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize