On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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