Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
