You made me cry and you don't even care
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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