we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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