its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
