hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
