he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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