Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
