operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
