Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
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My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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