the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
