i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
try to milk me bitch
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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