Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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