His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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