So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Me too!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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