worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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