My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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