btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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