She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
