Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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