Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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