Kiss
Puke
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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